Another piece of past

This I wrote not too long ago. It's one of my favorites.

Good Morning Everyone, it’s 46 degrees here in Motown with no chance of precipitation today. High around 69 degrees with partly cloudy skies. Got up at 4:30 this morning and after kicking the cat and downing some joe (coffee you sickos), I made may way to the gym. After a vigorous 50 minute workout and 700 calories later I made my way to the office. There I made a bee-line to the coffee machine for my second cup of joe. While imbibing on my caramel-colored-caffinated-sludge-of-glory (ya…that’s still coffee) I struck up a conversation with one of my coworkers. He was reminiscing about his glory days in the army and the adventures he had abroad. That brought me back to my days in the Salvation Army when I was commissioned to teach the poor children in Guatemala how to be ventriloquist. Oh the joy of seeing their faces light-up when they finally mastered the art of drinking from a glass of water while keeping their puppet talking in perfect English. Brings a tear to my eye. Or the time I was sent to El Salvador to assist in the rescue of a professional midget wrestling team that thought they could take on a live lion in a pay-per-view cage match. We saved all but 14 of those little guys, and after pumping the stomach of the lion we were able to recover most of the limbs of the survivors. My heart swells with pride with those memories. And now, with those days far gone, and with a family of my own I look forward to new adventures. Adventures that rival those of yesteryear. I revel with the anticipation of taking on my daughters first suitor. The joys of watching him try to figure out why it’s raining on a clear night while I pee on him from the roof. Or the look on his face after I invite him in the help me clean my shotgun. Ya, it’s not professional-midget-wrestling, but it’s just as gratifying. Yet now, I sit in my office squandering away a perfectly good 15 minutes of someone else’s time writing a complete paragraph of bunk. I’m melancholy as I look around and realize that today will be the same as yesterday as will be tomorrow. What adventures lie before me on this day? What is there to get my heart racing and the adrenaline pumping thru my veins? I foresee nothing of the sort. So what are we to do, we – the working stiffs of the world? Where might we find such adventures in suburbia??? I’ll tell you. In the imaginations of our children. Go home and play with them. Play with them and their friends. Teach them ventriloquism and watch them laugh. Who cares if you can’t do it. They surely don’t. Even try to do it while drinking water. All the better if it runs down the front of you. They will squeal delight. And if ever there was a lion in your heart, they are the midget wrestling team that will vanquish you. And the only thing anyone will have to worry about are those that have to scrub the grass stains out of the knees and elbows of the pants and shirts. Our adventures are there for us…everyday. Go and be a part of it!

With that I have made my way thru my first cup of coffee and am ready for another. Have a good day and I pray all of you have an adventurous day with your children.